A Masochist's Pleasure
by XxBlackChaosxX
Summary: Deidara is fed up with Sasori's painfully slow sex. Hidan is nearby. What does Deidara do? And how will Sasori react when he finds out? Read to find out! M Rated. HidaDei HidanDei DeiHidan DeiHida yaoi oneshot


**A Masochist's Pleasure**

_Would you mind if I hurt you?_

_Understand that I need to. _

_Would you mind if I killed you?_

_Would you mind if I tried to?_

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For almost as long as he had been a member of the Akatsuki, Deidara had been with Sasori. They had been more than simple partnerts; no, quickly after joining, Deidara's relationship with the redhead had blossomed into something greater - a love. They expressed their love for each other often, committing what some people would think to be sins. But Deidara didn't care - he loved his Danna with every fiber in his being, and so he treated the man accordingly. Sasori refused to be Uke, and so Deidara was stuck with the position. But he didn't mind - he liked having Sasori on top of him, liked the feel of his wooden digits against his skin. In short, he was in love with the puppeteer. And there was nothing wrong with that. None of the other Akatsuki criticized them, for it was none of their business. And so, the two artists were able to express their love freely among the group. Deidara loved it - it was one of the few things that made being in that organization bearable.

There was, however, a few hitches: Sasori liked eternal beauty, and so painfully dragged out their love-making, forcing Deidara to wait to cum, forcing him to take it slow. And, because they took it slow, Deidara's pleasure-meter was dropping every time they went to bed. Although Deidara loved his Danna, he was really hating the sex he put out lately.

What was harder: When Deidara tired to confront Sasori - several times, in fact - the redheaded Suna-nin would look away and quickly change the subject. Things between them were getting harder.

Deidara - being bisexual - had always serviced women quickly, getting them excited and climaxing in under two hours. He liked things with a little speed to them - not as if rushed, but just the right amount - and, lately, he was craving pain. Yes, he admitted it; he was only truly excited, lately, when Sasori bit his sensitive points, drawing blood. Without the pain in the mix, there was no _fun, _no lust for it to happen again later.

And so, more than annoyed at the painless-and-slow sex Sasori was giving him, Deidara went off in search of the Jashinist, Hidan.

Biting his lower lip, Deidara thought of ways to approach the vulgar, silver-haired man. Hidan loved fast sex and pain with it, and so he was perfect for solving Deidara's problem. But the question was: _How to get him to do it? _Yes, he was always coming on to people, but that didn't necessarily mean he would actually lay the blonde. Perhaps a little common sense, a little persuasion, would suade him...

Quickly walking into the kitchen of the Akatsuki base, Deidara found the Jashinist he was looking for. He was sitting at the small kitchen table, eating some sort of food. Feigning nonchalance, Deidara went into the kitchen's cupboards and grabbed a small package of dried fish chips. Honestly, he hated the food - but that didn't matter. He was only pretending to have a reason to be there.

Taking a seat across the table from Hidan, Deidara off-handedly opened his bag of dried fish as he stared over at the Jashinist, admiring the skin of his chest he willingly showed. Deidara's mouth watered. Slowly, he raised a fish-chip to his mouth and licked it, not really realizing what he was doing.

"Are you going to fuck that fish?" Hidan asked him suddenly, causing him to jump a little.

"O-oro?" Deidara managed, looking down to his fish. Hidan was right - he had been licking it as if trying to seduce it. "Oh, uh, no, un." He shoved it into his mouth, chewed quickly, and grabbed another one out of the bag, ignoring it's horrible taste.

The two stared at each other for an intense moment before Hidan broke the silence, shouting, "What the fuck are you looking at, blondie?"

"Oro?" he repeated like an idiot, then lowered his head to his bag of fish-chips and murmured, "Nothing. Gomen."

They ate in silence for a while longer, Deidara trying to calm his racing heart and come up with something to say. "You still with Kakuzu, un?" The sentence slipped out of his mouth before he could realize what he was saying. Once it was out in the open, however, he took in a deep breath, his heart racing. What a foolish thing to do - Hidan hated people in his business, especially when Kakuzu was involved.

"Why the fuck do you want to know?!" He shouted, angrilly standing.

"Gomenasai!" He shouted in reply, instantly silencing the silver-haired Jashinist. "It's just..." he stared at his fish-chips, unable to put it into the right words. Growling, he slammed his forehead into his open palm, closing his eyes as he finished, "Sex with Sasori-danna is horrible, un! I love the man, but it's so _boring._" He looked up at Hidan, unable to say anything.

Hidan smirked, as if already knowing what Deidara would ask for. "So what the fuck would I do about it?"

Deidara went a bright shade of red as he stuttered, "Well, I was thinking...I mean, I wanted..." Growling at his lack of vocabulary, the blonde shouted, "I hate fish chips, un!" and threw them against the far wall, banging his head against the table.

"You want a taste of me, hmm, blondie?" Hidan asked. Deidara was so surprised that he hadn't sworn that he was forced to look up to him. Now, the Jashinist was standing over him, playing with a lock of his blonde hair. "Hmm, that's fucking interesting." He cruelly grabbed Deidara's hair and pulled him to his feet with it, so that Deidara was forced to look into his eyes. He had to admit; the pain was turning him on. That pleasure must have been in his eyes, because Hidan laughed and said, "No shit, you like pain with it! Well." He threw Deidara against the wall, causing the blonde to whimper in painful pleasure. "Hmm, tell you what, blondie," he whispered in Deidara's ear, excitingly close to his earlobe and other biteable areas, "I'll _think _about it." He pushed Deidara into the wall again and walked out of the kitchen.

Slumping to the floor whilst trying to regulate his fluttering heart, Deidara couldn't help the semi-erection in his pants. Kami, he was so fucking _hot. _The Jashinist radiated everything Deidara was begging for: sexual appeal, an addiction to pain, speed. All he had to do was wait.

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He was forced to wait _three days _for the Jashinist to decide. _Three whole days. _Three whole nights of Sasori's painless - but painfully slow - sex. By the time the fourth day rolled around, Deidara wasn't sure he could take the waiting much longer. He needed to be truly satisfied. Now.

Angrilly sitting at the kitchen table, Deidara shoved a handful of fish-chips into his mouth. "I _hate _fish-chips," he murmured to himself, studying one. Shrugging, he popped it into his mouth anyway - he was too hungry to refuse.

For someone who hated fish-chips, Deidara ate them relatively quick. His thoughts weren't on the horrible cuisine - he was thinking about Hidan and praying to whatever deity that ruled above to convince the Jashinist that it was the right thing to do.

Then, from behind, a mouth planted itself on the left side of his neck, drawing blood. The mouth nibbled the wound in a way that caused a moan to escape his lips as heat collected in his stomach. Two hands appeared and grabbed the blonde's excited cock through his pants, cruelly fisting it. Deidara moaned again in painful pleasure, throwing his head back. Hidan's purple eyes met Deidara's pastel for a split second before the Jashinist grabbed Deidara's shoulders and pulled him to his feet. Deidara's heart beat excitedly. It was happening! Finally, after so many uneventful nights, he would finally get some _real _action...

Deidara was ripped out of his thoughts when Hidan took his hand and pulled him off in the direction of his room. Once inside, Hidan cruelly pushed Deidara onto his bed and ordered the uke to take his clothes off. Excited, Deidara complied and ripped his clothes off faster than he ever thought possible. Just as his boxers hit the floor, Hidan was on him, pressing his body against Deidara's and sandwiching the uke on the bed.

Wasting no time, Hidan bit down on the same bite wound as before, licking up the blood that followed. Deidara groaned and wrapped his arms around Hidan's back, commanded the mouths on his palms to bite as hard as they could. In response, Hidan groaned, thrusting forwards, and moved to Deidara's lips, biting down as hard as he could and shoving his tongue inside. Knowing Hidan, Deidara bit down on the seme's tongue as hard as possible, earning him a satisfied groan as copper-tasting liquid filled his mouth. Deidara literally sucked on Hidan's tongue, loving the taste of the other male's blood. His hands released their grip on Hidan's back, sliding down the other male's body and grabbing at a very sensitive area.

Hidan grunted his satisfaction and detached his lips from Deidara's, moving to the uke's collarbone instead. Once there, the Jashinist bit down as hard as possible, lapping up the blood like milk. In response - besides the audible groan of pleasure - Deidara gripped Hidan's erect member tightly, commanding his hands to do a combination of licking and gentle biting. Hidan groaned in pleasure, panting a little, and looked down to the blonde with maliciously lustful eyes. Deidara bit his lower lip in excitement, gripping Hidan's length as tight as possible.

The Jashinist hitched Deidara's legs over his shoulders in response, and Deidara instantly relinquished his member. Without hesitation - and without preparation beforehand - Hidan slammed into Deidara's tight entrance with excessive force, causing the uke to scream out in both pleasure and pain. Blinded with pleasure, Dediara held Hidan close and bit down as hard as he could on the immortal's neck, lapping up the blood. This must have pleased Hidan, because he continued to slam into Deidara with all the force he had, hitting the prostate each and every time he did so.

This continued for a _very _long time, long enough for it to become all pain and no pleasure. Hidan must have sensed Deidara's strong discomfort because, panting, he slowed to a halt and came within the uke. "W-wait," Deidara stuttered as Hidan pulled out of him, "you've been holding all of that cum inside the whole time, un?"

"I like _pain,_" the purple-eyed Akatsuki reminded him as he bit down on the patch of skin just before Deidara's semen-covered member, "in _all _forms." He spoke above Deidara, who shouted in blissful agony and came for the second time.

Kissing Deidara once more, and biting the uke's lips as he did so, Hidan slipped off the bed and put his clothes on, leaving without another word.

For a long while, Deidara just sat there, soaking in all the smells and pain. Then, groaning, he rolled off of the bed and collected his clothes, climbing into the shower in the connected bathroom.

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Once finished, Deidara moved out of the shower and put his clothes on, then went off in search of Sasori. He already knew that he was going to confess his sins to his Danna.

He met Sasori in the hall. "Danna, I have to tell you something really important, un..."

Sasori shook his head. "About Hidan?"

Deidara's jaw dropped. "H-how - ?"

The redhead cut him off. "He told me everything." Surprisingly, Sasori didn't seem hurt or angry at all.

Hating himself, Deidara looked to the ground in misery. "I'm _really _sorry, Sasori-danna...I know I cheated on you, but - "

Again, Sasori cut him off. "Why are you apologizing?" Shocked, Deidara looked up to his Danna, his eyes wide. "That was the sexiest porn movie I've ever seen."

Deidara's jaw dropped once more. "N-nani?!"

"I _paid _Hidan to do the whole thing. And _while _you two were doing it, I was watching it all _and _recording it for later. Kami, Deidara, that was so sexy..." Sasori's nose began to bleed.

Deidara blushed heavily in embarrassment. "So this whole thing was just a set up, un?"

Sasori smiled. "You know you like the thought of me going that far."

The blonde couldn't keep the blush off his face. His cuts, bruises, and ass hurt, and all he wanted to do was sleep. "Danna, please...can we just go get some sleep?"

His Danna's smile never faded as he nodded, took Deidara's hand, and kissed his cheek. "I love you, brat." he said as he led Deidara to their room.

"Love you too, Danna." The blonde answered thoughtlessly as he laid down with Sasori on their shared bed and curled up close. With that, he fell into a deep, comfortable slumber.

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**A/n **

**Translations: **

**Uke - Recessive guy in Yaoi relationship **

**Jashin - "Demon god" **

**Oro - Huh?**

**Gomen - Sorry **

**Gomenasai - I'm very sorry**

**Seme - Dominant make in Yaoi relationship. **

**Danna - Master **

**Kami - God **

_The opening song was 'What Have You Done (Extended Version)' by Within Temptation. I paraphrazed a little, so the lyrics aren't exactly like that - they have more inbetween. But if I left it the original way, it wouldn't have made as much sense. So, there we are. Hope you enjoyed, and please review - this is my first HidanDeidara fic. Thanks :) _


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